The DIRT on St. Mary’s

It’s been a season of ups and downs, but tonight we take The Kennel one more time. Tonight we Zombie Nation SO HARD that we almost pass out. Tonight we dare to ask the question what the hael IS a gael?

Tonight we DEFEAT ST. MARY’S AND TAKE CARE OF SOME #UNFINISHEDBUSINESS (hopefully).

ARE YOU PUMPED? IT’S GAMEDAY, BABY!

To prep for the big night ahead, we figured it’s about time we got you some good dirt on the other team to get you extra hyped for the game.

Here’s the low-down on the Gaels. Wherever shall we start?

Perhaps with the fact that out of the 13 guys on the team, SIX of them are from Australia. That’s right, Emmett Naar (#3), Tanner Krebs (#00), Dane Pineau (#22), Kyle Clark (#33), Jordan Hunter (#1), and Jock Landale (#34) ALL hail from the land down under. I wonder if later tonight they’d be down to THROW SOME SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE (everything I know about Australia comes from Outback Steakhouse commercials).

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If anything, I think this calls for an EXTRA loud USA! chant after the National Anthem. #Merica

NOT from the land down under, however, is teen team popstar J Biebs (Jack Biebel, #11).

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Along with sharing the initials of the world’s most notorious teen sensation, Biebel and Bieber ALSO share an unwavering sense of self-confidence.

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Thank goodness he’s got that headband to keep all that hair out of his face. #LiveStrong

We actually time travelled to 2009 to ask J Biebs how he was feeling about tonight’s matchup. His response:

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How about our friend Stefan Gonzalez (#2)?

The dude is SO WISE. I mean, look at this deep, profound statement he came up with…

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Is your mind BLOWN or what? Never thought about life that way. Dude should be teaching philosophy.

It also seems as though Stefan is looking for a lady friend to call his own. As his teammate Jack Biebel would say, “there’s gonna be one less lonely girl” once he finds her.

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If you think you’d be a good match for Stefan, feel free to snapchat him @stefnizzle — his account is open to the public. Let’s get those love connections going, ladies!

Freshman redshirt Evan Fitzner, however, seems to have already found his one true love.

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Have you ever seen a love so pure? This picture leads me to believe that Evan is a total Brony. I’m sure they’ve spent many a romantic night listening to the sweet sounds of his Jazz playlist.
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Either that or he can just call up his buddy Jordan Hunter (#1) to serenade him with the beautiful sounds of his guitar.

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I wonder if he knows the chords to Zombie Nation???

While we may not know the romantic situation of freshman forward Dan Sheets (#15), we DO know his home address, date of birth, driver’s license number and middle name (KENNETH). Apparently Dan never took a course on internet safety.

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S/O to Dan for being an organ donor. You’re the real MVP (I mean, not on the court obviously. Just in this situation).

Aussie buddies Dane Pineau and Jock Landale are two players to keep an eye. Both silent but deadly…

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…bringing a gas mask to the game is not required, but highly recommended. Tonight’s forecast is partly cloudy with a 100% chance of them crop-dusting the court.

 

And with that, it’s time to prep for the LAST HOME GAME OF THE YEAR! See you all tonight in The Kennel.

Get pumped, get loud, get crazy and #gozags!

 

P.S. To answer your question…CbsL3DPUMAAttzS.jpg