The DIRT on St. Mary’s

It’s been a season of ups and downs, but tonight we take The Kennel one more time. Tonight we Zombie Nation SO HARD that we almost pass out. Tonight we dare to ask the question what the hael IS a gael?

Tonight we DEFEAT ST. MARY’S AND TAKE CARE OF SOME #UNFINISHEDBUSINESS (hopefully).

ARE YOU PUMPED? IT’S GAMEDAY, BABY!

To prep for the big night ahead, we figured it’s about time we got you some good dirt on the other team to get you extra hyped for the game.

Here’s the low-down on the Gaels. Wherever shall we start?

Perhaps with the fact that out of the 13 guys on the team, SIX of them are from Australia. That’s right, Emmett Naar (#3), Tanner Krebs (#00), Dane Pineau (#22), Kyle Clark (#33), Jordan Hunter (#1), and Jock Landale (#34) ALL hail from the land down under. I wonder if later tonight they’d be down to THROW SOME SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE (everything I know about Australia comes from Outback Steakhouse commercials).

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If anything, I think this calls for an EXTRA loud USA! chant after the National Anthem. #Merica

NOT from the land down under, however, is teen team popstar J Biebs (Jack Biebel, #11).

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Along with sharing the initials of the world’s most notorious teen sensation, Biebel and Bieber ALSO share an unwavering sense of self-confidence.

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Thank goodness he’s got that headband to keep all that hair out of his face. #LiveStrong

We actually time travelled to 2009 to ask J Biebs how he was feeling about tonight’s matchup. His response:

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How about our friend Stefan Gonzalez (#2)?

The dude is SO WISE. I mean, look at this deep, profound statement he came up with…

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Is your mind BLOWN or what? Never thought about life that way. Dude should be teaching philosophy.

It also seems as though Stefan is looking for a lady friend to call his own. As his teammate Jack Biebel would say, “there’s gonna be one less lonely girl” once he finds her.

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If you think you’d be a good match for Stefan, feel free to snapchat him @stefnizzle — his account is open to the public. Let’s get those love connections going, ladies!

Freshman redshirt Evan Fitzner, however, seems to have already found his one true love.

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Have you ever seen a love so pure? This picture leads me to believe that Evan is a total Brony. I’m sure they’ve spent many a romantic night listening to the sweet sounds of his Jazz playlist.
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Either that or he can just call up his buddy Jordan Hunter (#1) to serenade him with the beautiful sounds of his guitar.

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I wonder if he knows the chords to Zombie Nation???

While we may not know the romantic situation of freshman forward Dan Sheets (#15), we DO know his home address, date of birth, driver’s license number and middle name (KENNETH). Apparently Dan never took a course on internet safety.

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S/O to Dan for being an organ donor. You’re the real MVP (I mean, not on the court obviously. Just in this situation).

Aussie buddies Dane Pineau and Jock Landale are two players to keep an eye. Both silent but deadly…

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…bringing a gas mask to the game is not required, but highly recommended. Tonight’s forecast is partly cloudy with a 100% chance of them crop-dusting the court.

 

And with that, it’s time to prep for the LAST HOME GAME OF THE YEAR! See you all tonight in The Kennel.

Get pumped, get loud, get crazy and #gozags!

 

P.S. To answer your question…CbsL3DPUMAAttzS.jpg

The DIRT on Saint Mary’s!

This is it.

Honestly, this is the day I’ve been waiting for since first stepping into life as a Zag back in August of 2012. I had heard about this week at GEL Weekend, I’d watched the games on TV and finally….

IT’S. HERE. 

For the first time in three seasons, our Bulldogs get to take on their heated rivals with a full Kennel. For the seniors, this may bring back fond memories of three seasons when the Zags clinched a 14-point win to move to 19-4 on the season. For the juniors, sophomores, and the freshmen, this is all new. We’ve never been here, due to the WCC scheduling the game over the Christmas holiday the last two seasons. But we’re ready. And we’re excited.

Oh boy, are we excited!

When Saint Mary’s comes to town, it seems like everyone becomes a little more passionate – more and more people will stop you and ask if you’re a GU student, if you go to basketball games and how you feel about the season. It’s always something special (see here for further proof from a friend) to be a part of this, and yes it has been a magical year so far, but this is the big one as far as everyone is concerned. It’s SMC. The Gaels.

Saint Mary’s comes in with a (respectfully impressive, we have to admit it) 15-3 record, and sits 7-0 in the WCC, tied with the Bulldogs for first place. In the past few years a little of the magic of our rivalry has gone away with the rise of BYU, but the Cougars sit solidly in 4th place in conference at the moment.

Since it’s been so long for all of us, we have to ask: What the hael is a Gael?! One of the marks of our conference is the “uniqueness” of our competitors’ mascots (we’re looking at you, Pepperdine Waves and USD Toreros) and the Gaels are certainly no exception. A quick Google search turns this up:

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Their mascot’s name is Gael Force One – more like Gael Force NONE!

And I feel like I’m looking at a slightly less-decently-dressed version of Michigan State’s Sparty. Even the girl in the picture doesn’t believe that this is the guy that’s supposed to be pumping them all up. As a freshman, I thought that they were the Saint Mary’s Gales, like the wind. A few of my friends I was talking to this week were talking about how, as seniors, they just learned that it wasn’t a kind of bird. Someone else joked that it might be a displaced Canadian (“Geh?-els”…? Don’t really know.) And, one girl who I can only hope was a freshman pronounced it like “jail” while she was waiting for her BARC omelet the other morning.

So, clearly, nobody really knows what a Gael is. Doesn’t matter. While we struggle to find out, here’s what we know for sure a Gael ISN’T:

SMC dirt 1

That’s Brad Waldow. He’s kind of their “big deal”, even though he wears their zeroes. God is not a Gael. That’s just blasphemous. I reported that as inappropriate, because attributing holiness to something as lowly as a Gael is entirely inappropriate.

More on Brad: Though he was never as bad as Matthew Dellavadova with the mouth guards (may he rest in peace), there’s still this gem:

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And he might actually have a reason to wear a mouth guard: a few years ago, he took one for the team in Vegas for the WCC tournament… Well, actually, his tooth did.

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Yeah that’s reaaaaaaal nice.

That’s right. His tooth, or what was left of it, became an overnight star. It even got its own Twitter account, which generated more hits for the rest of the tournament than Waldow’s did for a few months.

waldow's tooth

Feel free to tweet and abuse this as you please – after all, it is a tooth, and I don’t think it’s feelings will be hurt too much.

We’ve got this:

and pretty much anything you can do to get him to this level would be great:

Because if he can get frustrated enough at BYU to only throw a mouth guard, he’s gonna be in for a rough ride tomorrow night.

Moving on, we’re gonna take a look at the rest of the starters: Garrett Jackson, Desmond Simmons, Aaron Bright and Kerry Carter. We’ll start with a couple of Pac-12 transfers (COPYCATS) in Desmond Simmons and Aaron Bright.

Desmond came to the Gaels from the University of Washington, and apparently still thinks that based on the fact that all of his background pictures and profile pictures are still Husky related.

In addition, he’s got a couple really interesting pictures on his IG account: one of the last time he was a decent basketball player:

Ahh yes, the MySpace era...

Ahh yes, the MySpace era…

And one of how he’s going to feel when he’s done playing in the Kennel tomorrow night:

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He also seems like a little bit of a scaredy-cat:

desmond spider

And a little bit of a wanna be philosopher:

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I mean…. Dreams without goals are just dreams without goals are just dreams…? I feel like that could go on and on forever.

Then we’ve got Aaron Bright, who came over from Stanford. Sadly we couldn’t find his Twitter account (what do you have to hide, dude? Huh?! HUH?!?!), but we did find his Facebook and he too has a fair number of pictures from his days before SMC… Maybe it’s just a trend. He’s a pretty boring guy overall, but the one thing that stands out is that he loves Coca Cola. Don’t know what you all could do with that, but seriously. He has a lot of pictures of it on his Instagram account.

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Then we’ve got Kerry Carter and Garrett Jackson, who are both incredibly lucky that they switched their accounts to private in the last 24 hours. NO JOKE, as I was beginning to compile all of these things into a single post, I went around collecting tweets and pictures and all of a sudden… They weren’t there. And I couldn’t access my dirt on them. Because they blocked me.

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PARANOID! Kerry, I’m onto you. You’re gonna get some special treatment over the next 24 hours and I’m gonna figure out what you’re hiding.

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Garrett, on the other hand, didn’t protect his tweets, so…….

You know what. Nah. He’s a good guy. I’ll give SMC the fact that they could have one player that I don’t want to dig anything up on. We’re from the same area. He really seems like a nice dude. We have the same home church. Garrett, if you ever read this – if you see a college kid in a Gonzaga shirt at Solid Rock sometime, say hey!

Other facts:

  • They’re actually pretty rich with transfers and foreign pick ups. Couple other transfer kids (Joe Coleman, Garrett Jackson) and THREE from Down Under: Dane Pineau, Jock (lol) Landale, and Emmett Naar. Chant idea? “Why Saint Mary’s?” Just because it’s a question that we all should be asking of everyone on this team.
  • Here’s Evan Fitzner, and a list of all the schools that were recruiting him…. Note one fairly significant team that ISN’T on the list:evfitz
  • So, again…. WHY SAINT MARY’S?!
    He also competed in this, and I have no words:
    smc dirt 11So i mean, if you wanted to go Lumberjack crazy and “Chop down the Gaels”, do. Go for it. I will support you 100%.
  • Calvin Hermanson is suuuuuuch a hipster
    smc dirt 12AND, coincidentally, is from the same town as our very own Connor Griffin. I’d love to see them get some playing time against each other.

That’s all that we dug up, so here’s our plea to you all reading this: This is a HUGE game for Gonzaga. It sucks to have to think about it as a once-every-three-years kind of event, but hey thanks WCC, that’s what it’s been and may be again! We want you to be rowdy. We have a reputation as one of the top (and we mean TOP) student sections in the entire country, and this is our chance to prove it. We’re ranked in the Top 3 hardest environments in the COUNTRY for teams to play in – we have the winningest home court in America (142 wins against 8 losses in McCarthey), and a huge chunk of that is the energy that fans bring every single game.

Bring it. If you have ideas for chants, please tell us! We LOVE the creativity of the Kennel. We’ll spread ideas like wildfire over the next day so EVERYONE knows. We’ll be having an event where you can make signs for the game with your tent groups and your friends, dress up and be as insane (in the best way) as you can, because this is our night to shine. 75% of our student body has never experienced this game – let’s make it one to remember.

GO ZAGS!

The DIRT on Washington State

HAPPY GAME DAY! Everyone’s favorite game on the non-conference schedule… The day every year we get to bash our in-state rivals!

If you grew up anywhere in the Northwest OUTSIDE of Eastern Washington, there’s one way to describe the Cougars: “They suck.” I learned it, you learned it, everyone did. Even those who root for the Cougs have that teeny little bit of regret every time they shout “GO COUGS!” because, well, “Cougin’ It” is a real thing.

Our friendly neighbors to the south have been busy busy this season, opening a two game road trip in Texas (and losing both) before traveling to ALASKA (that’s kind of exciting – honestly, didn’t know there were early-season basketball tournaments in Alaska. Learn something new every blog!) and going 2-1 in the Great Alaska Shootout, good for fifth place. They roll into Spokane with a 4-4 record: solid, admirable, and better than their football team.

Enough small talk. Here’s the good stuff:

The classic starting five for WSU are Junior Longrus, Josh Hawkinson, Ike Iroegbu, DeVonte Lacy and Ny Redding. Ny is the only player that hasn’t been through the Kennel before and has no idea what he’s getting himself into, so let’s give him a little special treatment.

Here he is:

Ny Redding

WAIT WAIT WAIT, is that… Jaden Smith?!

Jaden SmithNo? Dang. Really could have fooled me. Especially with this:

Like I’m expecting some super profound tweets about life or something, but I guess he’s actually Ny Redding, not Jaden Smith.

WHAT WHAT DON’T WE KNOW?!

Whatever.

So we’ve got Will Smith’s son, who else? DeVonte Lacy… He’s been somewhat of a star for WSU over the past couple years, let’s check him out.

Let’s see. “youngsimba253” on Instagram, let’s take a quick look at his bio… Oh, it says he’s a professional photographer! That’s pretty cool I guess. Here’s some of his shots:

DeVonte Lacy1 DeVonte Lacy2 DeVonte Lacy3 DeVonte Lacy4

And that’s just a small sample of his “body of work”. Maybe he meant that he’s a profession photographer’s model, because I’m really not kidding, the dude has a LOT of professional pictures of himself:

DeVonte LacyAnd it really doesn’t get any better. A couple of insights from his day to day life:

I don’t know when I could have missed that but duly noted and I will make sure to remember that.

Deep. Eat those feelings man, never hurt anyone.

……I can’t. I can’t make this up.

Okay, let’s head to the bench.

First up: Jordan Railey, who had this:

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And, you know, I’m not gonna lie. That was pretty sweet. It was good enough for #1 on SportsCenter’s Top 10 for a little bit. He did have a lot to do with it, as it seems that roughly 87% of his tweets have been retweets of that video trying to get it on TV. There’s also this:

Which is probably NOT the thing you wanna put on the internet if you’re a guy in a relationship and went and saw Gone Girl because, well, now we all know.

We’ve got Valentine Izundu, offering up this brilliant observation:

YOU DON’T SAY?! I never would have guessed…. And, for further proof:

Valentine1  Well….. Yeah there’s that. He’s gonna help us get into the finals spirit as well:

Valentine3 In fact, that seems to be a common thing among WSU players. If we move to Marcus Graham, we see a lot of the same thing:

Yes

YES

YES

YAAAAAAAAAAAS

I get it. Really. This is the kind of stuff that really gets to me and hits home. Please, if someone brings a sign of the GPA emoji, I will reward you handsomely.

Just a last few things:

Trevor Dunbar has a few words of wisdom going into tonight’s game:

Really? Shoutout to the pear? That’s all you’ve got to say?

Okay well that’s cool I guess. More impressive is that his “Yup” tweet got 100+ retweets… NO IDEA HOW IT’S ONE SIMPLE WORD

To finalize, here’s the general representation of Washington State basketball:

Yeah. Justin Bieber in the top five. To follow that up, here’s our response to WSU after tomorrow night:

DUECES! See ya WSU, hope you enjoy your time in the Kennel, and we will definitely enjoy sending you back to Pullman.

The DIRT on Thompson Rivers

Twas the night before tip off, and all through Spokane…
Not a student was sleeping – up all night they would plan
For the moment was here! For which they all yearn:
The moment when – finally – THE ZAGS RETURN! 

That’s right – it’s Tip Off Eve! (Halloween? What’s that? Also, a little spin on a Christmas story seems fitting since today feels just like Christmas Eve, and fall here lasts for like five days anyway.

So here we are – the first game of the season, which means the first DIRT of the season is here! Not sure what that means? You’re missing out. For a refresher, or a hint at what lies ahead, see this, this aaaaaand this. If you’re still looking for an idea for our Costumes in the Kennel night, hopefully this starts some creative juices flowing…. However, if you just wanted to use these finds to throw them all off their Eh-game (get it? Our very first Canada joke!), feel free to use them as you please.

WITH THAT… We proudly present to you…. THE DIRT ON THOMPSON RIVERS UNIVERSITY

TRU dreamy

Man, for a Media Guide cover, he’s looking pretty unfocused. He did know this wasn’t a modeling shoot, right? I mean if all else fails, he could have a contract with L’Oreal in the future.

First, the basics: Thompson Rivers University (TRU), home to just under 25.000 students, is situated in beautiful Kamloops, British Columbia. TRU was founded in 1970 and originally known as Cariboo College, which sadly would have made this post a lot funnier overall if the name wasn’t changed. They’re rolling into the Kennel with a 4-2 record (not bad, not bad), but acknowledge that “this will be a very hard game”, but “they’re really looking forward to it”.

Now, some of you may have this itching thought in the back of your minds – Kamloops. Kamloops. Where have I heard of that before?! Oh yeah…

Second, family ties. A familiar name will be in the house. What one reason would most Zags have to recognize the word Kamloops? Well… It happens to be the hometown of our very own Kelly Olynyk (hi, Kelly!!!) However, Kelly isn’t the only Olynyk to be associated with TRU… Kelly’s dad Ken happens to be the Atheltic Director at Thompson Rivers, and very likely had a leading role in getting this game on the schedule.

Ken Olynyk

Ken Olynyk, who is very likely going to be in the Kennel tomorrow (so look for him and wave!), has his own proud basketball history – the former coach of the Canadian Men’s Junior National Team once cut Steve Nash from his squad. Oopsies.

Mr. Olynyk isn’t the only one who has a personal connection to the Zags, though – WolfPack forward Josh Wolfram is the older brother of our very own Emma Wolfram (who was also coached by Ken Olynyk in high school… Hmmm.) Emma’s played on numerous Canadian National Teams throughout her career and Josh played all through high school with KO, but I think it’s safe to say – we got the better Wolfram sibling.

With all the formal, boring introductions out of the way, lets move on to…

Third, the players themselves.

TRU team TRU roster

….we couldn’t find anything.

I’m kidding of course (never underestimate the power of Google!), but seriously, these guys never post anything on social media. Every combination of *player name* and weird, odd, bizarre, unique, crazy and creepy turned up nothing.

Well check their Twitter accounts! Their Instagrams, add them on Snapchat, DO EVERYTHING! 

We did.

We found seven of them on Twitter – they don’t follow each other. Only three of them have posted in the last year. Two have posted since this school year started.

Instagram – we found a couple more, but they have like 5 pictures. All old. I guess, by any aspect of the word, the dirt on these guys is just…that they’re incredibly boring.

HOWEVER. Never fear. Even the most empty social media accounts turn something good up now and again!

We’ve got #8 Luke Morris (on IG as “luke14_25”, King of the #ShamelessSelfie. Please note the captions – someone please get this kid an agent, someone who can talk to him about what should and shouldn’t go on the internet for everyone to see.

I CANNOT MAKE THIS UP THIS IS THE ACTUAL CAPTION FOR THIS PICTURE

I CANNOT MAKE THIS UP THIS IS THE ACTUAL CAPTION FOR THIS PICTURE

Also, not too worried about the level of his game, because the number of pictures of drinking games he posts is WAY too high. Is that all there is to do in Canada? Alchockey… Never heard of it, never want to again.

We move to Joe Davis, who’s pretty easy to describe: mirror selfies and starstruck fans.

Hanging with the boys

A post shared by JOEY D (@j0edavis) on

See? Kelly! But dude, you’ve got a hole in your shirt. This isn’t Mean Girls, that look is never going to be fetch.

We’ve got Brett Rouault, who seems to have the same #brokecollegekidproblems as most of us:

Ummm how are you supposed to donate when your still a poor student? #stillbroke #givemeafewyears

A post shared by Brett Rouault (@brettroules) on

Sidenote: I feel this on a very personal level. Dear Gonzaga Telefund: STOP. CALLING. ME. As a current student, I already give plenty of money to the University. Seriously, I’ll think about donating after I get my degree and can have a job and income and a real life. Chill out until then.

Probably the most concerning is the social media of freshman guard, #6 Ismail Ibrahim. We’ve got several very clear obsessions coming through and THOUGH IT IS JUST AFTER HALLOWEEN, PLEASE DO NOT USE HIS INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT FOR COSTUME IDEAS.

We’ve got this lovely “eat or be eaten” post:

Nightmares. Thanks for that. We see a clear fascination with Miley Cyrus:

And, just to use his perennial #WCW as a segway into the other, scarier fascination… Ismail likes butts. And hashtags. To prove it:

TRU ismail cap 1

There’s a worse one, but because I don’t want to scar you all permanently, I’ll just put the glorious caption:  TRU ismail cap 2It’s accurate. It’s illuminating. Let’s just say the moon was very bright that night. Don’t believe me? Check his profile to find out for yourself: “thats_gray”. There’s a number of other puns I could put here, but I’ll just keep it simple. Goodnight Moon, hopefully we DON’T see you in the Kennel tomorrow!

Everyone sleep well, we’ll see you tomorrow when the season finally gets underway. Happy Halloween!